Your humble Legal Pad reporter received a jury summons earlier this month, and jury duty was set to begin this week. So this past weekend I did what any young San Franciscan looking to scope out the scene would do -- I Yelped jury duty.
As it turns out, jury duty in San Francisco has fans: it’s been reviewed 33 times, or 37 if you count the four reviews of “jury services.” It hasn’t garnered the same level or amount of praise as my favorite local bar, but it does have more reviews than the strip club down the street from the Civic Center Courthouse. Unfortunately, jury duty and the Market St. Cinema are both averaging two-and-a-half stars. But if the court put pole dancers in the assembly room, I’m sure they could get over that hill to a healthy three.
While I haven’t been asked to show up yet (no 12 Angry Men for me), I’ve been learning a lot from Yelp.
Warning: Salty language and Internet-quality typing, after the jump.
“Not getting picked to sit on a jury is like not getting a call back from someone you didn't really want to date in the first place,” said user Rebecca H., who gave jury duty four stars. “Before the rejection you weren't even that interested, but afterwards you feel a little confused and slightly hurt.”
A few users were actually pleased to get called.
“I must be the only person in the WORLD who loves -- LOVES, LOVES, LOVES -- jury duty,” said Cake M., who gave it five stars.
But the majority seemed pretty peeved with being forced to wait all day, or with being asked to show up in the first place. “I can't believe those fuckers fucking got me again. Three jury summons in 4 years. This is fucking unreal,” said Poochie M., who gave jury duty one star.
Reviewer Carol Y., despite acknowledging that jury service was her “duty as a citizen,” couldn’t stand all those damned delays.
“today, i arrived 20 minutes early before 1:30pm because the judge insist that we come early and on time but you know what? the court room didn't open until 1:40pm. but thats the not most annoying part of jury duty -- ROLL CALL. yes, ROLL CALL. its like high school all over again. 120 names call alphabetic order for the next 15 minutes,” she said.
Still, everyone seemed to agree that there was some excitement to be had in the human “drama” of a trial.
“This woman is a passenger in a car that gets rear ended by another car doing 5 miles per hour…[she] couldn't even get the driver of the car, her supposed friend, to appear in court on her behalf,” Poochie M. wrote. “The defendant was an honest European immigrant who moved to the U.S. to start a business and a new life, and he gets his ass sued for a 5 mile/hour accident. UNREAL. Doesn't anybody screen these cases? Judge Judy would have settled this shit in 30 minutes, WITH commercials.”
— Evan Hill