But If We Were Gonna Charge for Frivolous Lawsuits ...

You know, a couple posts down, we ran Cheryl Miller's item about Republican would-be-governor Tom Campbell and his voter-pandering appeal against trial lawyers:  Charge people for filing frivolous lawsuits.  The headline (my fault, not Cheryl's) takes particular aim at this elitist and undemocratic idea.

And today, it miiiiiiight be time for a reassessment.  Via the indomitable BoingBoing, we find Lowering the Bar's item about a woman who, in the Eastern District of California, sued the maker of Cap'n Crunch Crunch Berries cereal (PepsiCo — who knew?) because she'd been buying it for years and had recently realized it contains no berries!  None!  In fact, there's no such thing as a "crunch berry"!

From Lowering the Bar:

According to the complaint, [plaintiff Janine] Sugawara and other consumers were misled not only by the use of the word "berries" in the name, but also by the front of the box, which features the product's namesake, Cap'n Crunch, aggressively "thrusting a spoonful of 'Crunchberries' at the prospective buyer." Plaintiff claimed that this message was reinforced by other marketing representing the product as a "combination of Crunch biscuits and colorful red, purple, teal and green berries." Yet in actuality, the product contained "no berries of any kind." Plaintiff brought claims for fraud, breach of warranty, and our notorious and ever-popular California Unfair Competition Law and Consumer Legal Remedies Act.

Judge Morrison England Jr., who surely had better things to do in the dispensing of justice category, ruled against Ms. Sugawara and her attorney, Hal Hewell, on the grounds that her suit was dumber than a DVD gift set of "So You Think You Can Dance" (translated from the legalese; hey, I'm not a lawyer).

While the suit looks as frivolous as nail polish on a rhinoceros,* I'll tell you this:  I would've paid a reasonable admission fee to see this argued. Unfortunately, according to the dismissal, linked at LtB, England seemed to feel it wasn't worth taking time on orals.  This bodes ill for the claim I'm working on.  Apparently there's no bulls — of any color — in Red Bull!  Intererested lawyers, call me!

— Brian McDonough

* Still don't like your idea, Tom Campbell.

Comments

[Hal Hewell]

Brian -

Neither Janine Sugawara nor her first amended complaint stated that she believed "crunchberries" was a real fruit (check it out on Pacer, along with our motion for reconsideration to get the full story). Your contention that she did is simply false and has exposed her to widespread (and unwarranted) ridicule.
Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story.... You owe her an apology.

- Hal Hewell

[Brian McDonough]

Hal -- Hiya. From Judge England's order I gather that the suit is about there not being berries in the "crunch berries," and the joke that "who'd think crunch berries were real?" is, you're right, taking a little license. Whether someone finds that a true deceptive practice worthy of litigation is in the beholder's eye. The post points the way to Judge England's more reasoned explanation of the facts and his decision ... thanks for offering further clarity here.

[You've got to be kidding]

Hal,

I am a class-action lawyer in CA who specializes in representing consumers in legitimate cases brought under the UCL and CLRA. I know this area of the law extremely well and I am familiar with the facts of your case and your legal arguments. This case is a disgrace. Please drop it. California consumers have suffered greatly these past few years because meritless cases like this one have given tort reformers the fodder they need to persuade voters to pass ballot measures aimed at gutting consumer protection law. The tort reformers do not need any more poster children to trot out on election day. Again, please do California consumers a favor and drop this lawsuit.

[Hal is a pathetic loser]

Hal, thanks for giving the legal profession a bad name. scumbags like you have no business posing as a lawyer. nice try, idiot.

[Addicus]

WHAT!?!?!? You mean Cap'n Crunch isn't a REAL PERSON?!?!?

[Matt]

He's not even a Captain! Fraud!

Perhaps Hal should move on and sue Fruit Loops. Apparently, a Fruit Loop is not a real fruit. Wait, he already did!

[DT Jackson Brown]

This is a joke, right? I love Crunchberry's