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It’s an overcast Monday after a rainy weekend, and Legal Pad is starting the week in a definite couch potato mood. However, since there’s probably some dumb HR rule against catching up on Lost episodes via our office computer, the next best thing is surfing the Internet for celebrity gossip. Law-related celebrity gossip, we hasten to assure our editors/corporate overlords. We’re on the clock here, people.
While Lindsay Lohan hasn’t lately been arrested or charged with anything entertaining that we’re aware of, other celebrities have been keeping their lawyers busy. We’ve got real political celebs (John Edwards), fake reality celebs ("Octomom"), and washed-up TV celebs (David Hasselhoff).
Act now and we'll throw in, at no extra cost, a chunk of the California Assembly. After the jump.
Really (In)Famous: John Edwards, the really cool guy who pursued the Democratic nomination well after he had to know that if he won it, his stupid, sleazy affair would inevitably cost him and his party the election, is now being investigated by the feds for misuse of campaign funds. Did the Haircut use campaign funds to pay off the mistress who is also the mother to his illegitimate and unacknowledged child? The Haircut says emphatically that he did not. But then, that’s what he said when asked whether he’d been cheating on his loyal and cancer-striken wife, so it looks like the DOJ will have to look into it anyway.
Fake Celebrity vs. Legal Celebrity: The (shudder) “Octomom” is gonna face Gloria Allred in court. Allred, consistently described in news articles as “feminist celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred,” is going after the mother of 14 for being unfit after, among other things, one young child showed up at school with bite marks and a black eye. (This admittedly not-very-reliable-looking site quotes Octomom Nadya Suleman shrugging it off with, “He’s autistic, he bumps into things.”) This’ll be a fun one.
Formerly Known as Famous: David Hasselhoff, star of TV and solid-gold-in-Germany record albums, was rushed by family to the hospital recently, and was reported to have been drunk to the point of coma, or something. His lawyer has been insisting that these are scurrilous misrepresentations (articles always allude to the knight rider’s ex-wife) and, in fact, DH just felt a little unwell and is now much better. We wonder why you need a lawyer to handle basic PR monkeywork like blanket denials. Maybe the guy is consolidating his service providers.
Bonus: Kinda-Famous-In-Their-Districts Politicians: The Sacramento Bee reports that in a crappy job market, it’s good to have friends in the California Assembly. Such friends can hire you to six-figure jobs without putting the position out for competitive bidding or whatever. The Bee’s key (but least shady) example of the practice involves a lawyer getting a hell of a part-time gig:
Senate President Pro Tem, Darrell Steinberg, through the Senate Rules Committee, contracted with John Adkisson's one-man law firm to run the Senate's new investigative unit and to provide legal advice for $150,000 this year -- as a part-time job, records show.
In the article, Steinberg and his “dear” friend, Adkisson, make a decent case that the lawyer’s work is legitimate stuff that he’s got a great track record for. But the no-bid aspect and a healthy distrust of politicians (see first item, above) are less than ideal.
Note to entertainment lawyers and Sacramento lobbyists: The time you spent reading this post may count for CLE credit ... It’s worth a shot.
— Brian McDonough