The Wagstaffe Chronicles

There are innumerable email distribution lists in this world, but only one gives the local media a daily gift of moral certainty, gritty detail and literary excellence. We’re talking about the “cases of interest” list from the venerable Steve Wagstaffe, San Mateo County’s chief deputy district attorney.

His daily memos, which for years have been a godsend to young cop reporters looking for stories, conjure in our minds the image of a John Wayne figure tapping out an account of the county’s criminal underworld. It's a world where “Excellent Detective Work” ferrets out nefarious gangs who prey on “Balding and Grandfatherly Looking” men. And every single word— no joke — is capitalized.

Wagstaffe’s world is often rough and tumble: One recent memo recounted the story of crime victim Deshawn Stubbs, who had apparently picked on defendant Quindale Powell’s younger brother, and was confronted by Powell, who “Offered Fisticuffs To Settle The Problem.” But Powell went beyond fists and allegedly shot Stubbs to death.

The Wagstaffe memo world is also filled with misbegotten love. Take, for example, the story of the victim who met a 37-year-old woman through the Internet, “Spent Two Long Weeks In December” with her, and “Everything Seemed Fine But On New Years Day Suspect Stole $100 From Him And When He Tried To Recover Money, Suspect Tried To Kill Him By Repeated Driving Her Car At Him, Striking Him In Leg And Ran Over His Foot; Motive Remains Mysterious.”

Despite the tribulations contained in Wagstaffe’s chronicles, the prosecutor still maintains a wry sense of humor, as with the “Suspect With a Spelling Problem” who allegedly “Entered US Bank In San Mateo Wearing A Yellow Hardhat And Went To Teller With Note Stating ‘Bank Robbery, I Have A Gon.’” Things didn’t turn out well for the hardhat-loving crook after the California Highway Patrol located his “Abandoned Car On Freeway 101 And Found The Orange Vest With A ‘C’ And A Polaroid Photo Of The Defendant Wearing A Hard Hat; 2nd Strike case For Prior Robbery Conviction.”

Wagstaffe also has no problem getting up close and personal with subjects that might cause a more sensitive man to squirm. He even seems to admire the “Transient Parolee With Prior Prison Term For Indecent Exposure” who was caught masturbating at a Colma Target store.

“He Was Inside The Store Fully Clothed With Hands In Pockets And Obviously Masturbating Near Several Female Juveniles,” Wagstaffe wrote. “Suspect’s Conduct Was Caught On Store Video; When Arrested, Suspect Volunteered That ‘It’s Not A 314 Because I Never Showed My Penis’ (Accurate Statement Of The Law).”

Accurate statement of the law, indeed. We salute you, Steve Wagstaffe, and look forward to this week’s media notes.

—  Evan Hill

Comments

[Caroline]

From what I've read, I have a crush on Steve Wagstaffe.

[Steve White]

You might take a careful look at this link, Page 10 and onwards in particular, to see another side of this man:

http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/opinions/archive/A108894.PDF

This is about a case where Wagstaffe tried to prevent the parole of a man who had been an exemplary prisoner, and been subjected to extreme provocation to commit his crime, and, even according to Wagstaffe himself, had not been adequately represented at trial.

Unless wit is worth a lot more to you than character, you should rethink your crush.

[Johnson]

Steve Wagstaffe is a very weak manager and can't manage people well at all. People think he's a great guy, but have they ever looked beyond that public persona? There lies a complex and not always such a good guy. Definitely has issues.

[John Doe]

And now another story featuring that jerk.
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2011/10/prosecutor-ridicules-gizmodo-journalists