Thelen Celebrates Big Win — In Dodgeball?

Law firm press releases serve a purpose; to entertain is not one of them.

So it was with mild jubilation that Legal Pad received an internal write-up from Thelen Reid Brown Raysman & Steiner on the firm’s stunning dodgeball — yes, adults (with advanced degrees!) playing dodgeball — victory over its rivals O’Melveny & Myers and Stroock & Stroock & Lavan in the New York Lawyers Athletic League — yes, a league for adults to play dodgeball.

But why talk about it? Here’s the breathless play-by-play from the firm’s write-up, links and all:

At first outgunned by the long arms of O’Melveny, the Thelen team dug in their heels to pull off what will perhaps be regarded as the greatest comeback in American dodgeball history. Thelen’s team fought hard and took two of three against what quickly became a heated rivalry against the O’Melveny team, which did its best impression of Globo Gym (snake dance, headbands, armbands, and all) and taunted the Thelen squad throughout the early rounds.

Well, now we know where O’Melveny gets its reputation for tough lawyers.

With O’Melveny finally silenced, Thelen cooled its jets while waiting to play the winner of the Stroock & Stroock & Lavan vs. Venable game for the championship. Taking a competitive spirit and the “Five D’s of Dodgeball” (dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge) into the final round, the Thelen team came out fired up for the championship game against Stroock and took the first two games of a best of three to win the tournament.

“We did indeed bring the ‘Five D’s’, and are feeling it, big-time, today,” said an associate tagged by Thelen’s internal writers as Ted “The Enforcer” Ghorra.

OK, funnier things have been written, but it’s better than most of the firm releases clogging our inboxes. So, if your firm has ever done or written anything remotely humorous, please post it in the comments or send it our way.

—  Zusha Elinson